Sunday, October 25, 2020

How to Handle an Abusive Male Partner


Domestic violence is a growing problem – despite the fact that we are all more aware of the issue. The fact still remains that when a woman is abused, she is very likely to try to hide the abuse from others, for a wide variety of reasons. If you are an abused woman, you need to know how to handle an a man who turns abusive on you.

Get Out

The first thing you need to do is to realize that the situation is not going to change. This means that you need to get out. There are numerous places that you can turn to for help. If you aren’t sure where to go, call the local police department and they will tell you where you can seek help – and many police departments will send an office to make sure that you get to that destination safely. To avoid a physical confrontation, try to leave when he is gone, but if he is never gone, try to leave when he is asleep. Get out even if you have no idea as of yet where you are going.

Get Help

Even after you’ve left the abusive person, you need help. You may need legal protection. You may need counseling. You may need help finding childcare, a job, and a place to live. Get all of the help that is available to you.

Often, you can call on close friends and family members for help, but this isn’t the case for everyone. You need to really think about who you can and cannot trust, and who can and cannot help you. Make sure that you surround yourself with a good support system. It is your job to get the help that you need. It is not your job or your responsibility to get help for your ex male partner at this point.

Is There Hope?

You love him. You have children with him. You want to work it out. Is there hope? It’s impossible to say that there is no hope, but in most cases, an abuser does not get the help that they need. In most cases, if he has abused you, he will do so again, and the abuse can get worse as time goes by.

This doesn’t mean that there is no hope. The thing is, he will make lots of promises in an effort to get you to come home. Don’t believe them. Actions speak much louder than words. If he says he will get counseling, wait for him to actually get the counseling – one session does not mean success. Stay away until you know, without a doubt, that he has been in counseling for some time, and that it is doing some good. Before you go back to him, make sure that you have your escape ready in the event that it is ever needed again.

Gloria Brown
Women's health and wellness retreat leader providing vacations and trips for women to get in shape -- and stay that way! On you can find my articles about weight loss, health and women's issues. Please feel free to contact me on

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