Wednesday, August 12, 2020

How to change people and make them do what you want.

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It’s a great big world out there and you’re doing really well at keeping your shit together, breathing, being present, staying real, being kind and loving random strangers. It’s awesome that you’re so committed to conscious living, to yoga, to love, to taking care of the earth and all other sentient beings. 

You’re a really good person and other people think so too. 

The only tiny niggling thing is that sometimes you’re a little judgemental. Hey, I’m not judging you for being judgey because I too sometimes get a case of the judgeroos. It’s hard not to judge other people when you feel like your decisions and life choices are fantastic and their choices kind of suck. 

But alas, you know that the judgement thing is not so attractive. You also know that it can be pretty hard to keep in check. It manages to sneak up on you at the grocery store, in conversations with friends, when you see your family and when you talk to your partner. It almost snowballs, moving with you from one interaction to the next.  

Being judgemental is putting up a brick wall.

Compassion and understanding have no way of making it through. Judgement creates a pretty stinky air of superiority that the judged can smell wafting off the judger a mile away, and then whatever lesson that the judger wanted to impart, well – it just gets lost in the fumes. Smell my drift?

If you want to change people, like really make them do what you want, then you have to lead by example.

You have to be a pure brave heart who makes loving decisions, reaps the benefits, and who isn’t showy with all the golden karma that you accumulate. When you see other people making decisions that aren’t in alignment with your moral compass, your desire to teach them has to come from your compassionate core and not your raging ego of superiority. 

To help others and to be a bringer of change, you must light the way without an agenda. Some will be drawn to you while others will turn away, but you will strive to judge none of them because like you, each of them is a really good person too. Those who are ready to explore new possibilities will blossom in your company and through your compassion, kindness and non-judgement, change will come.  

Sophie Jones
Sophie Jones leads detox and weight loss retreats around the world from Bali to Costa Rica and many more places in between. Join her on her quest to help her clients lose weight, fully detoxify and begin a new healthy lifestyle. sophie@cleanseplan.com

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