Many people suffering from anxiety think like this: “Getting over social phobia might be possible for other, ‘stronger people’. But for me, it can never happen.”
If you kinda feel that way too, this article will show that you’re more able to get rid of social phobia than you think.
Give me a chance with this, I’m aware how skeptical you might be.
for developing courage
exists in everyone, including you
My system for overcoming social phobia helps you get over it as comfortably as possible, but it’s not a magic pill. It’s use will require courage sometimes, and that’s something you personally, can develop.
Courage is the ability to take action when you feel scared. As humans we all have fears, but what separates us is that some take action in spite of those fears, whilst the rest back down to them.
Fortunately, it is possible to move from the “back-downers” to the “action-takers”.
I spent a lot of time accommodating my fears – making sure they were not exposed. Thus, I didn’t start out courageous and that’s why I know that you can become brave. It’s a quality that you can develop.
If you have the ‘ability’ to feel scared, then you have within you the potential to take action in spite of that fear. You have what you need to develop this skill; it’s just waiting for you to tap into it…
If I hadn’t gone from a “fear-avoider” to a
“fear-actioner”, then I
wouldn’t be claiming this can be done. I just know that if I did it,
then, as a human being who’s equal to me in more ways than you could
imagine, that you can do it too.
How To Develop Courage
Courage isn’t a permanent skill. You don’t develop it, and then have it stay with you forever. Each time you need to be courageous, you have to develop the courage again.
You do this by feeling a stronger desire to get the benefits of doing the courageous action, than to avoid the possible negative consequences.
So your desire to quit loneliness, become socially comfortable and develop fulfilling relationships must be higher than your desire to avoid the feelings that social anxiety inflicts.
Learning to fix social anxiety must be a bigger desire than the desire to avoid the possible negative consequences of taking such a courageous risk.
Once you’ve developed your desire for social success to a higher level than your desire to avoid the possible negatives, you’ll find it easier to become courageous when you need to.
I’ve shown you that courage is something humans like you and I can develop. My book “How To Beat Social Anxiety for Good”, can show you very clearly how to make the desire to completely elliminate social phobia a BURNING DESIRE that you will do what it takes to best it.
2. You can handle any anxiety symptoms that happen
You and your body have what it takes to withstand anxiety symptoms without any real harm done.
This shows that you can overcome social phobia, because the hardest parts of what you need to go through, cannot actually hurt you.
During the course of your recovery, you’ll have to be in situations that do make you anxious. There’s no other way to beat SA, but rest assured that if you let my upcoming Ebook guide you, you’ll be amazingly well prepared for the harmless symptoms.
Be safe in the knowledge that the uncomfortable way you’ll feel is not harmful at all; it is just that – uncomfortable.
Want proof that anxiety symptoms are not harmful? The truth is that anxiety is trying to protect you – so the feelings it gives you cannot be threats to your health…
For example, when you sprint, your heart races, and that’s a healthy thing, right? So how can a racing heart be harmful during anxiety? It can’t. Your anxiety cannot bring you to any harm.
Defining being “able to handle” anxiety
My definition of being able to handle anxiety is “If it won’t kill me, then I’m handling it well”. Why? Because if it’s not damaging my health, then evidently, I can handle it.
It’s easy to say “I can’t handle that”, but, given that anxiety is ultimately harmless, how can you be not handling it? What is the anxiety doing to you, that brings you to the conclusion “I can’t handle this”.
The truth is that if it’s not going to reduce your health, then it’s harmless, which means you’re handling it amazingly, despite the discomfort.
Your anxiety tolerance level will need to raise — it may get a little worse, before it gets better. You need to be able to say “Although I am uncomfortable, this anxiety is harmless and will pass”.
Developing this ability will be a well-covered topic in my book How To Beat Social Anxiety for Good. You can do this. You’re so much greater than you think you are.
3. You are aware of your anxiety, meaning you can have control over it
Any emotion that you are aware of, you can control. Your awareness of your anxiety gives you the choice to obey it or not. Now that you know it is there, you have the free will to take action in spite of it.
Just knowing that your condition is called ‘anxiety’ is fantastic. I spent 2 years not knowing that what I felt was anxiety, and because of my lack of knowledge there was no foundation for me to change from.
You know about your anxiety, and you know that whilst it feels scary, it won’t kill you. With anxiety unable to kill you, you now know that if you learn to build courage, you can do whatever it takes without any real harm.
4. Your soul is stronger than anything that can happen to it
Right, I’m goin’ all spiritual on your ass now. Whatever happens on your quest for social comfort, your soul will tolerate it. You won’t cease existence, even if the worst of the worst happens.
The human soul is unbreakable. We can die in the sense that our lives end, but our non-visible core never actually dies.
You, at the deepest level of who you are, will stand strong in the face of the nastiest possibilities – despite the horrible feelings that could (but most likely won’t) happen.
Having such an inbuilt and unconditional quality as an unbreakable soul, means that now or later in life (whenever you decide to tackle SA) – You are capable of doing whatever it takes.
5. Your life has a purpose
First, let’s see why your life has a purpose: What do we all want more than anything? Happiness – that feeling of enjoyment and fulfillment in life. Have you got there yet? My guess is, with a problem like SA, not just yet.
One of the key aspects of happiness is love and connection with others.
To prove this: Does anything matter to you, more than your family? Is there anything you wouldn’t do to keep them safe?
The love in your life is one of the most important deciders of your happiness level.
Social anxiety is a problem that gets in the way of your ability to bond and connect with others. What I’m saying is, dealing with social phobia is a part of the purpose of your life, because if you do it, you’ll be better able to connect with others. THAT new connection will boost your happiness.
Since happiness is what we all want most, it’s acquisition is the purpose of everything we do (or should be!)
To briefly recap:
- Happiness is what we all want most. This makes acquiring it, our purpose
- A large piece of the “happiness puzzle” comes from connecting with others
- Social phobia compromises our ability to form connections with people
- By getting rid of the negative social anxieties and crippling phobia, we can become better at connecting with people and enjoy more fulfillment and happiness
- When we’re better at connecting, we can form more fulfilling relationships with others. This very naturally makes us happier people.
Seeing that it is possible for you
Seeing that there’s a positive purpose to life helps you to feel that it is is possible to get over your anxiety and having a social life.
Now that we see there’s a purpose, we ‘feel’ instinctively, that every problem that blocks happiness, must have a solution. It’s a knowing.
You’re seeing the big picture at this point: That we’re all on a pathway to fulfillment and happiness, and that solving our problems is a large part of the journey.
It gives you a way of looking at life that helps you feel that in spite of reasoning or logic, you can overcome your problems and be happier for it.
You Now See Overcoming Social Phobia Is
Possible (STEP 3). It’s Time To Start Dropping
Your Negative ‘Baggage’ (STEP 4)
There are certain emotions you probably encounter, that can get in the way of you overcoming this problem. Such emotions need to be stamped out as much as possible, so that you can start conquering your social phobia in everyday settings.
My Step 4: Social Anxiety Self Help Steps to Feeling Better About Your Life guides you through the removal of negative emotions.