Friday, February 26, 2021

Science-Based Reasons To Practice Gratitude


What if we aren’t doing the things science teaches us really can bring happiness?

“The problem is not the problem.  The problem is your attitude about the problem.” Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

We hear so many stories of people who were rich, gorgeous, talented and beloved who yet committed suicide.  Clearly, they had EVERYTHING, but they were not happy.

We have also all read or heard stories of people who “have nothing,” but who are happier than your average billionaire and wondered what their secret is.

We know that lasting, meaningful happiness does not come from getting the things we want.  It comes from wanting, savoring, appreciating, the things we get. Remembering that in a time of stress is another matter entirely.

Do you ever feel like this unhappy person?

“Grumble, sigh, groan, my life’s a mess, I hate my job/spouse/school/neighborhood/body/boss/past mistakes___________ (fill in the blank).  Gratitude? I have nothing to be grateful for.”

Really?  Nothing at all?

“I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” Old Sufi Proverb

Gratitude is one of a cocktail of 5-10 secret ingredients that can increase your happiness and wellbeing, sometimes quite dramatically.  These ingredients are habits and skills that you can develop and that you have full conscious control over.

First and foremost on the list is the practice of gratitude.

Gratitude is defined in all the dictionaries as a NOUN, the FEELING of being grateful. But that definition leaves a lot out – for instance,

  • Acknowledging WHO helped bring the good into our lives,
  • Explaining how we are to come by that FEELING when we have just been hit by one of life’s disappointments,
  • Teaching us how to nurture it once we can access it again.

Gratitude is not a NOUN, but a VERB, something we must DO.

Many scientific studies have shown that people who foster gratitude are happier and healthier than those who foster grievances.

Dr. Robert Emmons at UC Davis reports the results of multiple studies showing significant benefits of keeping a Gratitude Journal for only THREE WEEKS.

He had people in various research conditions list just FIVE things they were grateful for over a period of 3 weeks. He reported positive results in health (blood pressure, sleep, immune system), in social relationships, and in feelings of optimism, wellbeing, and energy.

One little known fact I recently discovered is that fostering gratitude fosters the release of the neuropeptide oxytocin, the feel-good bonding molecule.  It needs a spark of some kind – having a baby, falling in love, etc – to release it and fostering gratitude can be that spark.

It turns out, we are hard-wired to notice the alarming and pass over the charming.

Our “reptile brain” takes over when it senses threat.  It shuts everything down, like digestion and higher order thinking, to choose “fight, flee or freeze.” It is automatic.  The worst part?  It is programmed to remember fear-inducing places and experiences so we can avoid them, and to pass over other things.  When we accumulate a whole lifetime full of alarms and problems and focus on those, the reptile brain causes us to habitually look for the bad in everything.

It seems we have to overcome our own survivor- brain centers in order to foster the gratitude. The good news is that we CAN take charge of that reptile and mute its everyday influence if we are willing to train our brain to habitually recognize the good in our lives and the people who helped us get it.

Gratitude journals, gratitude jars and gratitude games are just ways to get the brain to focus on the good in your life and get that oxytocin boost to help anchor the practice in your neural pathways.

I found a free website based on research by leading psychologists and neuroscientists which asks you questions and then provides personalized activities and games designed to help you build skills such as gratitude to improve your life. Or, you could just practice on your own.

Either way, I encourage you to foster more gratitude for your health and happiness.


  1. Muriel Neal

    when I am grateful for what I have i find that new and good things flow to me by themselves

  2. Ikuo

    My daughter, Bella loved your book. She is wntiiag patiently for the next one. In the mean time she would live to get one of your autograph bookmarks to go in her hardback Witchlanders novel.

  3. Francie

    This is JUST what I needed to read right now!

    I have been trying to feel grateful, but believe it or not, I’ve been so caught up in my “To Do” list that I’ve been overwhelmed and just forget to slow down and appreciate the little things — like the trees, the birds, or a beautiful sunset.

    I think that the people who always seem to be happy do that all the time. They probably don’t even think about it that much. They just look for the good in life, so they see more of it.

    I spend a lot of time criticizing other people. Not out loud. I’m not mean or anything, pretty much the last person on planet Earth who would say something mean to someone else. But I do actually think about this one and that one and what I don’t like about them. I really think this is my problem.

    I heard once that what you think about expands. If that’s true, then I don’t have time to think about the good things because I spend too much time thinking about what other people are doing wrong.

    I need to pet the dog more. I really appreciate him!

    Thanks so much for a reality check. It’s really up to me to make my own life happier. Fortunately, it’s easier when you get a friendly reminder from a really good writer who gives you lots of helpful links.


    • Moni

      Congrats on the paperback raleese! I know some of my friends have been waiting for it. I’m not a young adult anymore, but I fell in love with Witchlanders anyway. Do you have plans to write a sequel? Sorry, I guess people ask that all the time!

  4. Jane G

    “I cried because I had no shoes until I had no feet” That really stuck out in this blog post. We do feel so sorry for ourselves if we feel we are not as privileged as the rest.Then when we meet someone less fortunate, we realize how much more we have.
    To feel like that we must have good in us though as I have met many people who would not even care that the next person’s circumstances were worse than their own and that in itself hurts me that people can be so selfish.

  5. Karen Kennedy

    Thank you so much, Gerry, for the encouragement and for explaining the process and for saying that “gratitude” is actually a verb disguised as a noun! as in “I’m going to do gratitude now.”
    Gosh, when should I start doing gratitude? How about NOW? What’s wrong with NOW? so here I go: Thank you Gerry –I appreciate your huge contribution to my life in so many ways!

Gerry Straatemeier
Gerry writes in the lane of health and healing, you can contact her at

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