The following 3 pieces of self help will A. Make you feel better about yourself and B. Provide you with the attitude required to beat social anxiety disorder…
When I say you must accept your current life, I don’t mean that you should settle for it as all you can ever have.
I mean that although you should yearn for a more fulfilling life, you should let go of any shame or suffering you put yourself through, because of the way things are right now.
Why Self Help Is So Important if you suffer from Social Anxiety
Feeling bad about any aspect of yourself, or the way your life has turned out, will only serve to hinder your chances of recovering from social anxiety. That sense of self negativity drains the positive energy out of you.
With self negativity dominating, you wouldn’t have enough drive and motivation to get yourself to do the tasks that need doing, to beat SA.
That’s why it’s very important that you learn to let go of self negativity.
Self Help Step 1:
Accept Your Current Lifestyle By
Deciding To Change It
You got into the habit, even the lifestyle, of anxiety avoidance. You took actions that helped you stay clear of anxiety as much as possible. Whilst that’s become a frustrating reality, you must learn to accept it.
You learn to accept your current lifestyle by seeing it as the starting point in a new journey that you’re on.
You commit to beating SA, and you simply understand that the position you’re in right now, is the beginning step of a new, positive, liberating journey.
Just being here reading this website means that the journey has already started. Everything is different now, despite it seeming the same – because you’re on a new, infinitely more positive path.
“Rock bottom was the foundation from which I rebuilt my life” – J.K. Rowling.
Self Help Step 2:
Accept Yourself By Seeing That Under Your
Circumstances, Anyone Would Have
Done What You Did
Right at the beginning of your experience with social anxiety, something really nasty was done to you by someone else. THAT event was the trigger for this whole problem. It was the catalyst for the behaviour you used to cause your own SAD.
After that nasty event, you started to behave in ways that would ensure that it didn’t happen again. That behaviour created social anxiety disorder for you, and I’m begging you to open your mind to see that ANYONE would react exactly as you did…
ANYONE would try to avoid situations similar to one that frightened the life out of them. It’s natural to avoid things that scare us. We’re fearful creatures, us humans.
So please, don’t bully yourself or feel
ashamed that your life has turned out this way. If the same events had
happened to any other person, they would have done just what you did.
You’re a human, you got scared. Come join the other 7 billion of us
that also get scared on a daily basis.
“But It Was My Behaviour That
Caused My S.A.D. So How Is It
Not My Fault?”
Yes, your behaviour caused your SAD, but when you didn’t realise at the time, that such avoidant behaviour would cause a disorder, it was the natural option.
You were given the choice: Take action A, which will make you feel anxious, and is unpleasant. Or take action B, which means you don’t have to feel anxiety.
You really did do what any person would do if they knew nothing about SA and how it develops. Thus, social anxiety disorder is not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault.
Self Help Step 3:
If SA Isn’t Your Fault, Then You
Don’t Deserve It…
Build The Determination To Change!
Can you feel something in the air right now? That’s the feeling of injustice. You weren’t to blame for your social anxiety, so therefore you do NOT deserve to suffer in the ways that you have.
The excessive staying in and the emotional suffering – these are things you do not deserve to experience…
Use that feeling of “I didn’t deserve this” to find a sense of drive, determination and energy within yourself that says “I will not stand for this anymore because I never deserved it in the first place. I will beat SA”.
If you’re feeling the benefits of this self help (and rightly so – you should be feeling it!) then not only are you feeling more upbeat, you’re also a lot closer to having enough courage to do what needs to be done to beat social anxiety.
Armed With Your New Feelings of
Acceptance & Determination (STEP 4),
Let’s Kick Out Any Remaining Shame
Or Guilt (STEP 5)
Two of the most restricting emotions are shame and guilt. They’ll stop you benefiting from the changes you are making, if you let them. That’s why I wrote Social Anxiety Disorder Self Help: 5 Reasons to Let Go of Shame & Guilt.
That article will help you put an end to any shame or guilt that you feel, because of the anxiety and the lifestyle it has created. This, in turn, will give you the energy to do what must be done to end social anxiety.